Hey thanks. Thanks for that summer.
Its cold where youre going, i hope that your hearts always warm.
Nights are very long. In the grand scheme of things, obviously. Because in comparison to the day, nights are generally shorter. Medically speaking, the average human being sleeps for at least a third of their life. One whole third. Unless you live with Darren Murphy, who snores. ALOT. So for two sixths of your lifetime, you are (in most cases..) horizontal, eyes shut, deep breathing, dreaming. That sure is one hell of a way to spend your time.
That means for the other two thirds you are awake. You are eyes open.
This scares me.
This thought makes me scared.
Why?
Because that isnt long enough.
Just two thirds doesnt seem like alot.
I want to see the world. I want to wake up on a beach and wonder how i got there. I want to set fire to a pan and burn part of my kitchen. I want to lose my house keys and be locked out until my mum comes down with a spare key. I want to miss my flight and be stuck in the airport on my own. I want to sit on top of a building in the sunshine eating icecream. I want to throw a snowball from the top of a hill and see how far i can get it. I want to forget where i parked my car and have to walk around for ages trying to locate where the flashing light is as i unlock it with the fob. I want to get on a train without knowing where its going. I want to paint my walls different colours that dont match. I want to snorkle on the Great Barrier Reef. I want to have breakfast in a HUGE bed in a very posh city central hotel in New York. I want to camp in spain. I want to be kissed on the very top of the Eiffel Tower. I want to take my mum to a spa for the weekend. I want to have my hair cut by Nikki Clarke. I want to learn how to make pancakes. I want to stay out all night and forget that i have school in the morning. I want to pay alot of money to go away for the week and never once leave my hotel room. I want to build a room that only i am alowed in. I want to swim in an ice cold river. I want to sleep on grass. I want to learn to play one song on the acoustic guitar. I want to design my own wedding dress. I want to cook Christmas dinner for everyone i know. I want to throw a party that will get my house trashed. I want to stand barefoot in Hyde Park and have a picnic there. I want to got o Blackpool for a week. I want to have twins. I want to write my own music. I want to jump off a roof. I want to sleep in my car. I want to see my book on the shelf in Waterstones. I want to visit a poppy field. I want to lie under my white covers all day. I want to spend the whole day in a library. I want to make my Grandma proud of me. I want to get kicked off public transport. I want to name a star. I want to sit up in bed and see the ocean.
Two thirds?
I guess i'd better get started.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Tapping, WA
I knew there was something up with her because she stormed past my door as if she was hiding something.
I knew exactly what was wrong, because we had been in this same situation a thousand times before. I put down my school bag and walked into her room. She was sat in her usual position, so i sat in mine; just next to her mirror. I turned away so i wasn't looking at her, that was the most important part of our routine. If i looked at her she could feel me watching her, so i just gave her a few minutes to herself. From the mirror i could see her easily so i kept glancing over. She didn't notice me because she was far too buried in her own thoughts. Her head was stooped, and i could see her expressions change as she read the multicoloured words on the paper. She smiled cheekily as she progressed through the page, then her face straightened as she turned over to the next side. Then the first tear fell. It was overdue. She had managed to read a side and a half before she actually cried. This was my cue; shuffle ab it further forward. She put the paper down by her side and sighed, she had evidently finished. After a few seconds, she looked up at me with a big smile on her face and tears all down her cheeks. She pushed herself to her knees and crawled towards me. Flinging her arms around my neck i squeezed her hard in a hug that was more comforting than anything i couldve said. After a minute or two, she rocked back to her heels and passed me the letter. I scanned it quickly and nodded. She smiled and i wiped her cheek. Neither of us needed to say anything, there is an unwritten language that you are born with when you are a sister. Its a silent tongue that doesn't need to be shared; like a glance across the dinner table during cringe-worthy conversations or a pinch of the arm after an inappropriate comment. Its a language you cant teach, because there is nothing to be taught. Its just sisterhood.
My Grandad offered me a teapot before.
One out of his loft.
It may be years old, but its still usable.
He assured me he knew exactly where it was.
'Want me to go up and get it?'
No thank you grandad.
You're 60 something and due for a knee replacement.
Its fine, but thank you.
I'll go without.
I knew exactly what was wrong, because we had been in this same situation a thousand times before. I put down my school bag and walked into her room. She was sat in her usual position, so i sat in mine; just next to her mirror. I turned away so i wasn't looking at her, that was the most important part of our routine. If i looked at her she could feel me watching her, so i just gave her a few minutes to herself. From the mirror i could see her easily so i kept glancing over. She didn't notice me because she was far too buried in her own thoughts. Her head was stooped, and i could see her expressions change as she read the multicoloured words on the paper. She smiled cheekily as she progressed through the page, then her face straightened as she turned over to the next side. Then the first tear fell. It was overdue. She had managed to read a side and a half before she actually cried. This was my cue; shuffle ab it further forward. She put the paper down by her side and sighed, she had evidently finished. After a few seconds, she looked up at me with a big smile on her face and tears all down her cheeks. She pushed herself to her knees and crawled towards me. Flinging her arms around my neck i squeezed her hard in a hug that was more comforting than anything i couldve said. After a minute or two, she rocked back to her heels and passed me the letter. I scanned it quickly and nodded. She smiled and i wiped her cheek. Neither of us needed to say anything, there is an unwritten language that you are born with when you are a sister. Its a silent tongue that doesn't need to be shared; like a glance across the dinner table during cringe-worthy conversations or a pinch of the arm after an inappropriate comment. Its a language you cant teach, because there is nothing to be taught. Its just sisterhood.
My Grandad offered me a teapot before.
One out of his loft.
It may be years old, but its still usable.
He assured me he knew exactly where it was.
'Want me to go up and get it?'
No thank you grandad.
You're 60 something and due for a knee replacement.
Its fine, but thank you.
I'll go without.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Eyeliner, sweatbands, studded belts and h&m jackets.
Freedom comes at a price, so join us and be non-conformist.
Individuality is a quality the world lacks. Unlike accent, skin tone or hair colour, to live to be unique you must be born with it inplanted into your DNA.
Surely this means everyone is unique? As no two people are the same and each persons genetic format is different. The moment of conception isnt the problem; the worries start when, as growing humans, we decide to dress and think and talk the same as the next person. It is a natural part of our development to explore different styles and lifestyles, but what happens when we find one we like? What happens if we all settle on one particular way of life? If it is the same one, could you imagine what the world would be like?
Can you imagine the social enviroment now if Martin Luther King Jr hadnt defied steriotype and made his 'I Have A Dream' speech?
Can you imagine the technology we would have now if Bill gates hadnt gone against his peers and produced Microsoft?
Can you imagine the music industry today if Elvis Presley hadnt ignored all the 'bad-influence' press and rebelled against a society so in need of a scandal?
People throughout history, people like Ghandi, Mother Theresa, Winston Churchill and so many others, have changed the world. But it wasnt because they kept their heads down in a crowd of millions. It wasnt because they nodded and smiled when they felt like screaming and shouting. Its because they had a brain and a mouth and, most importantly, a heart that allowed them to step out of the shaddow of the tidal-wave majority and become the one, individual, splash of hope in a world that is so thirsty.
Life isnt about getting by and getting along. Its about failing, but returning to the core of your idea and being so different that everyone around you gasps and shakes their small minded heads. Life is about being remembered for being yourself, not about being forgotten for being someone else.
Individuality is a quality the world lacks. Unlike accent, skin tone or hair colour, to live to be unique you must be born with it inplanted into your DNA.
Surely this means everyone is unique? As no two people are the same and each persons genetic format is different. The moment of conception isnt the problem; the worries start when, as growing humans, we decide to dress and think and talk the same as the next person. It is a natural part of our development to explore different styles and lifestyles, but what happens when we find one we like? What happens if we all settle on one particular way of life? If it is the same one, could you imagine what the world would be like?
Can you imagine the social enviroment now if Martin Luther King Jr hadnt defied steriotype and made his 'I Have A Dream' speech?
Can you imagine the technology we would have now if Bill gates hadnt gone against his peers and produced Microsoft?
Can you imagine the music industry today if Elvis Presley hadnt ignored all the 'bad-influence' press and rebelled against a society so in need of a scandal?
People throughout history, people like Ghandi, Mother Theresa, Winston Churchill and so many others, have changed the world. But it wasnt because they kept their heads down in a crowd of millions. It wasnt because they nodded and smiled when they felt like screaming and shouting. Its because they had a brain and a mouth and, most importantly, a heart that allowed them to step out of the shaddow of the tidal-wave majority and become the one, individual, splash of hope in a world that is so thirsty.
Life isnt about getting by and getting along. Its about failing, but returning to the core of your idea and being so different that everyone around you gasps and shakes their small minded heads. Life is about being remembered for being yourself, not about being forgotten for being someone else.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
wearing very little, but thinking quite alot
I feel really bad.
I feel as if my blog had become my diary. I seemed to write on here alot, too much perhaps. I had to stop myself from writing here too many times a month.
But, even though its only been a few days or maybe a week sinse i last blogged, i feel i have neglected this website. I've kinda been putting this off, but i've kinda been looking forward to it.
I feel like i have so much to say!
Its weird!
Its like im talking to an old friend who i have loads to catch up on!
I dont want to tell you everything. Else i will literally, literally, be here all night. I will make a short list of things that will probably only make sense to me. Its simply for my use only to compensate for my lack of effort.
- Cups of tea and Lost plots with My Girl. So far, yet to be topped this month. I enjoyed myself so much. I love her dearly.
- Hidden notes and a picnic on my bed. Courtesy of the most amazing boy in the world. And i know i can exaggerate, but this time i'm not.
- www.cheese.com and all that went before it.
- Chilling with Clarabell. Truely the only person that i want to hug when shes pissing me off bad style.
- Not speaking to my boy Matthew for what seems like hundreds of centuries..
- My new found interest in deep convos with Beany.
- 300.... this. is. spartaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
- Charity events. And the night that followed after.
That not it.
But thats all you're getting.
I'm going to be more regular (wo, deja vu..)
And not just because i'm eating more prunes...
I feel as if my blog had become my diary. I seemed to write on here alot, too much perhaps. I had to stop myself from writing here too many times a month.
But, even though its only been a few days or maybe a week sinse i last blogged, i feel i have neglected this website. I've kinda been putting this off, but i've kinda been looking forward to it.
I feel like i have so much to say!
Its weird!
Its like im talking to an old friend who i have loads to catch up on!
I dont want to tell you everything. Else i will literally, literally, be here all night. I will make a short list of things that will probably only make sense to me. Its simply for my use only to compensate for my lack of effort.
- Cups of tea and Lost plots with My Girl. So far, yet to be topped this month. I enjoyed myself so much. I love her dearly.
- Hidden notes and a picnic on my bed. Courtesy of the most amazing boy in the world. And i know i can exaggerate, but this time i'm not.
- www.cheese.com and all that went before it.
- Chilling with Clarabell. Truely the only person that i want to hug when shes pissing me off bad style.
- Not speaking to my boy Matthew for what seems like hundreds of centuries..
- My new found interest in deep convos with Beany.
- 300.... this. is. spartaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
- Charity events. And the night that followed after.
That not it.
But thats all you're getting.
I'm going to be more regular (wo, deja vu..)
And not just because i'm eating more prunes...
Monday, February 4, 2008
A Love For Envelopes
Hello.
You look very nice today.
I dont mean to be forward or anything, i thought i would just compliment you before i begin. Only because i know how you feel about compliments. I know you like to give them, but sometimes you feel you dont get them enough.
Come on.
Dont lie.
I know you think that.
You think that you would be happier if a few more nicer sentences were thrown your way now and again... In a totally non-big-headed way, of course.
No but seriously, you look really nice. Your hair is doing that thing i like. When you havent really put much effort in but it looks good.
Your head hurts abit doesnt it? Well, its not really that bad now. But it was abit achey before. Its ok, i know how you feel. I had a bad head before, its cleared up now so i'm sure yours will too.
Seriously, have you done something different with your hair? You actually look like a new person today. Good on you mate, you're looking fiiiine. :)
Ohhh, arnt you going to shut that window? Its abit nippy. You've thought about moving the computer but its too much hastle and youve set yourself up a nice little work space now, so there isnt much point. But it is abit cold, so either shut a door or turn the heating up. I know you're not content with the temperature. I get like that sometimes. I'll be lay in bed and i will just decide to put another layer on or take another layer off. Sometimes, as humans, we just get over-run with the feeling of malcontent and our ever growing need for power makes us change something about our enviroment. I get that. So just sort that radiator out please.
I know you're asking yourself what youre doing here... No, not in the way you dont want to be on my blog, but theres that way more important job youve been meaning to do. Look, im not trying to tell you what to do, but i think you should just get it done and out the way. Think how good you will feel when you are happy with it, it wont be on your mind anymore will it? Just do it bit by bit, thats the best way for a task like that. Then you wont have a big load to do last minute. Just make sure you dont rush it or do it half-heartedly. Thats the worst thing you could do.
Right, i'm going. You should too. You've got much more important things to be getting on with.
Thanks! Thats really nice of you to say so!
Just something i threw together really.
Anyway, see you later.
OH! And dont forget to make that phonecall! We both know it isnt a person you want to let down. So just bare it in mind ok?
Love,
Vicky
xxxxx
You look very nice today.
I dont mean to be forward or anything, i thought i would just compliment you before i begin. Only because i know how you feel about compliments. I know you like to give them, but sometimes you feel you dont get them enough.
Come on.
Dont lie.
I know you think that.
You think that you would be happier if a few more nicer sentences were thrown your way now and again... In a totally non-big-headed way, of course.
No but seriously, you look really nice. Your hair is doing that thing i like. When you havent really put much effort in but it looks good.
Your head hurts abit doesnt it? Well, its not really that bad now. But it was abit achey before. Its ok, i know how you feel. I had a bad head before, its cleared up now so i'm sure yours will too.
Seriously, have you done something different with your hair? You actually look like a new person today. Good on you mate, you're looking fiiiine. :)
Ohhh, arnt you going to shut that window? Its abit nippy. You've thought about moving the computer but its too much hastle and youve set yourself up a nice little work space now, so there isnt much point. But it is abit cold, so either shut a door or turn the heating up. I know you're not content with the temperature. I get like that sometimes. I'll be lay in bed and i will just decide to put another layer on or take another layer off. Sometimes, as humans, we just get over-run with the feeling of malcontent and our ever growing need for power makes us change something about our enviroment. I get that. So just sort that radiator out please.
I know you're asking yourself what youre doing here... No, not in the way you dont want to be on my blog, but theres that way more important job youve been meaning to do. Look, im not trying to tell you what to do, but i think you should just get it done and out the way. Think how good you will feel when you are happy with it, it wont be on your mind anymore will it? Just do it bit by bit, thats the best way for a task like that. Then you wont have a big load to do last minute. Just make sure you dont rush it or do it half-heartedly. Thats the worst thing you could do.
Right, i'm going. You should too. You've got much more important things to be getting on with.
Thanks! Thats really nice of you to say so!
Just something i threw together really.
Anyway, see you later.
OH! And dont forget to make that phonecall! We both know it isnt a person you want to let down. So just bare it in mind ok?
Love,
Vicky
xxxxx
Monday, January 28, 2008
~PAWSGLOB~
so theres this girl, you will probably know her.
its like ive never not, its like shes always been there, somewhere -5,
its like i know so much about her, but really its nothing,
thats where you all have one up on me i guess.
im not her, as you may well have guessed,
far from it infact.
though this is her,
you 'are' in the right place,
im thmttwd.blogspot.com,
alike thevikipedia.blogspot.com,
but crappier.
On here,
shes taller than me,
and a much better speller.
and about 7 ahead in half the time.
So this is real late and way over due,
and if you have come here to read about tricks,
then i apologize, cos you will be mildly disappointed.
cos i'm a few lines and shes a paragraph.
i'm nonsense, she inspires.
i'm powerbook in my studio space, she's laptop lying on her bed.
i'm packed lunch, she's chips barm and gravy,
and shes got someone saving her a place in the queue on 'chip day.'
i've have no time, she makes time.
she's crumpets on cheese sandwiches, i'm microwaved cheese on
bread.
she's on the seats near the sandwich and milk corner, i'm not, i'm on the train next to the the large man/woman, who talks to her/him self and
perspires on me.
i could potentially go through more than a pack a day, and are just
stuck anywhere as my jaw begins to ache, hers are discarded into a
tiny hole as she leaves school.
she doesnt like maths, me either.
who does? well i know one person, and she lives with the shame,
everyday. haha, you all probably wouldn't know her though, but you
should, she's alright.
'you, looking at me, looking at you'...
...cos its all about observationing, and you/me/us looking what shes writing about her, while looking at us. And if there's anyones that is worth reading and thinking about, its hers. its this one. shes real, and not many people are real, with other people and most certainly themselves, she is.
i don't really know where to go from here, i don't think im making sense, and if this were a piece of paper i probabaly would have started again at 'so'. but its not and its here and ill probably add to this, when i realise its nothing when put at the side of 'dont adjust your set, this is a Blogswap...'
ahhhh well.
end transmission,
forget transmisson.
lets do this again,
ill do better next time,
i promise.
//MTT
its like ive never not, its like shes always been there, somewhere -5,
its like i know so much about her, but really its nothing,
thats where you all have one up on me i guess.
im not her, as you may well have guessed,
far from it infact.
though this is her,
you 'are' in the right place,
im thmttwd.blogspot.com,
alike thevikipedia.blogspot.com,
but crappier.
On here,
shes taller than me,
and a much better speller.
and about 7 ahead in half the time.
So this is real late and way over due,
and if you have come here to read about tricks,
then i apologize, cos you will be mildly disappointed.
cos i'm a few lines and shes a paragraph.
i'm nonsense, she inspires.
i'm powerbook in my studio space, she's laptop lying on her bed.
i'm packed lunch, she's chips barm and gravy,
and shes got someone saving her a place in the queue on 'chip day.'
i've have no time, she makes time.
she's crumpets on cheese sandwiches, i'm microwaved cheese on
bread.
she's on the seats near the sandwich and milk corner, i'm not, i'm on the train next to the the large man/woman, who talks to her/him self and
perspires on me.
i could potentially go through more than a pack a day, and are just
stuck anywhere as my jaw begins to ache, hers are discarded into a
tiny hole as she leaves school.
she doesnt like maths, me either.
who does? well i know one person, and she lives with the shame,
everyday. haha, you all probably wouldn't know her though, but you
should, she's alright.
'you, looking at me, looking at you'...
...cos its all about observationing, and you/me/us looking what shes writing about her, while looking at us. And if there's anyones that is worth reading and thinking about, its hers. its this one. shes real, and not many people are real, with other people and most certainly themselves, she is.
i don't really know where to go from here, i don't think im making sense, and if this were a piece of paper i probabaly would have started again at 'so'. but its not and its here and ill probably add to this, when i realise its nothing when put at the side of 'dont adjust your set, this is a Blogswap...'
ahhhh well.
end transmission,
forget transmisson.
lets do this again,
ill do better next time,
i promise.
//MTT
Monday, January 21, 2008
Now thats a fire!
I will be impressed if i ever meet someone under the age of 30 who knows what i am talking about when i say 'Now thatsa firre!'
I'm watching room 101. I have a white drama mask tied against my mirror, it scares me in the night. Some people have never seen Grease; i find that unbeleivable. There is a conifer in my back garden that leans slightly to the left. Each corner of my headboard has a plastic crown on the pole. The person who lives across the road from me gets ants nests every year. I contantly feel inadiquit at things that i know i'm good at. I dont like maths. I drink more tea than my elderly Nan. One day i will ride on the orient express. I fancy Harrison Ford. My nails only get painted with a colour on when theyre long enough to be seen over the top of my fingers. There is a half eaten Galaxy chocolate egg resting on my remote control. My straighteners are wrapped up in a 'neat' formationn on my tele-cabinet. I played keyboard for about half a month. I went to Byrchall, mainly for the reason my friends did and i didnt want to miss anything. Fiona Phillips is too cheerful for that time in the morning. I'm trying to convince myself that i'm organised enough for tomorrow. I'm clearly not. I've just eaten the Galaxy egg. I dont know what the FTSE is. Rollin' with the homies. I really like Elizabeth Arden, 5th Ave. I wish i spoke french as successfully as i french kiss. Oceanic flight 815 takes over most of my time. Markets go up, markets go down. I lose umbrellas alot. There is a fake red rose on top of my un-used sterio system, a button hole from new year. I've stuck pictures all around the monitor of my old computer. I know what dress i'd like for my leavers dinner. Now thatsa firre.
Love, from, Vicky....x
I'm watching room 101. I have a white drama mask tied against my mirror, it scares me in the night. Some people have never seen Grease; i find that unbeleivable. There is a conifer in my back garden that leans slightly to the left. Each corner of my headboard has a plastic crown on the pole. The person who lives across the road from me gets ants nests every year. I contantly feel inadiquit at things that i know i'm good at. I dont like maths. I drink more tea than my elderly Nan. One day i will ride on the orient express. I fancy Harrison Ford. My nails only get painted with a colour on when theyre long enough to be seen over the top of my fingers. There is a half eaten Galaxy chocolate egg resting on my remote control. My straighteners are wrapped up in a 'neat' formationn on my tele-cabinet. I played keyboard for about half a month. I went to Byrchall, mainly for the reason my friends did and i didnt want to miss anything. Fiona Phillips is too cheerful for that time in the morning. I'm trying to convince myself that i'm organised enough for tomorrow. I'm clearly not. I've just eaten the Galaxy egg. I dont know what the FTSE is. Rollin' with the homies. I really like Elizabeth Arden, 5th Ave. I wish i spoke french as successfully as i french kiss. Oceanic flight 815 takes over most of my time. Markets go up, markets go down. I lose umbrellas alot. There is a fake red rose on top of my un-used sterio system, a button hole from new year. I've stuck pictures all around the monitor of my old computer. I know what dress i'd like for my leavers dinner. Now thatsa firre.
Love, from, Vicky....x
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