The moon gets its light by reflecting rays from the sun. Without the sun the moon is nothing, just a dark entity in the giant vacuum we call space. You make me feel whole, with you i can be anything i want to be. I have confidence and i embrace life to the full. You make me someone. I am the moon and you are my sun.
Approx; 60.7 billion people, that we know of.
Pretty sick of just being one of an approximation..
From, Vik x
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Taps at my window.
I just turned to look at him. There was something about the pale, dusky light pouring from the window that made his eyes sparkle with unspoken words. They looked hollow, in such a full way - as if he had so many things he wanted to say, but he knew it wasn't the right time. The stupidly ridiculous hat was perched on his head, causing the long buried memories of summer to come flooding back. They had been stored in a box at the back of my mind, just to stop them teasing me whilst the rain fell and the skies were grey. Him sat in that net backed hat threw me violently into my little gemmed orange dollies, sat on the park bench in the fading light of the summer days. Messing nervously with my hands in my lap, paying no attention to the large group of summer-drunk teens by my side, who knew their claim to the innocence of youth was dimming. Awkwardly focusing on the scuffs on my toes and the dirt on my heels, from yesterdays episode with the long grass and the murky ponds, my naive head was swimming with the expectations and the love for the ever fading holidays. Nobody needed to say a word, but we all knew it was the summer of our lives. The summer for firsts, lasts and in betweens. The summer of irreplaceable feelings of belonging and inclusion. Our daily rituals had become somewhat of a culture, causing the holidays to become useless in terms of a break from school and brighter in terms of it becoming our way of life. So sitting with tanned arms and grazed knees on that bench was no different from the routine of previous days. The feeling i felt for him then, complimented the grassy air and the cracked paving flags. It grew stronger, much like the bonds formed with the people who surrounded me. As summer filled our heads, romance filled our hearts. Some more than others.
By the end of the seemingly eternal vacation, hearts were broken and dignities fixed. As the school year started, the dreams and wishes ended of a summer that seemed to prove that anything was possible. Studies started, along with the winter winds and the forgotten chills of the all important rain storms. The desire for cheap alcohol turned into the need for hot chocolates and warm milk. We swapped our immodest skirts for umbrellas and our neck scarfs for woolen knits. As the fashion of the vibe changed, one thing didn't. Of all the comings and goings and the inconsistencies that summer held, one thing remained. It was him.
I knew by looking into his eyes, there and then in the pale dusky light pouring from the window, he knew it. He knew that the events and the drama of the months before and weeks after our well-spent summer holidays didn't matter. Regardless of it, there was one thing that we had spread further than any of the frisbees we threw in the sun or the races we ran on the grass. I knew what his eyes were saying. I hope he knew what mine were replying.
Darling, i love you as much in gloves and scarfs than i did in trucker hats and tank tops.
By the end of the seemingly eternal vacation, hearts were broken and dignities fixed. As the school year started, the dreams and wishes ended of a summer that seemed to prove that anything was possible. Studies started, along with the winter winds and the forgotten chills of the all important rain storms. The desire for cheap alcohol turned into the need for hot chocolates and warm milk. We swapped our immodest skirts for umbrellas and our neck scarfs for woolen knits. As the fashion of the vibe changed, one thing didn't. Of all the comings and goings and the inconsistencies that summer held, one thing remained. It was him.
I knew by looking into his eyes, there and then in the pale dusky light pouring from the window, he knew it. He knew that the events and the drama of the months before and weeks after our well-spent summer holidays didn't matter. Regardless of it, there was one thing that we had spread further than any of the frisbees we threw in the sun or the races we ran on the grass. I knew what his eyes were saying. I hope he knew what mine were replying.
Darling, i love you as much in gloves and scarfs than i did in trucker hats and tank tops.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Very Pretty.
Hey thanks. Thanks for that summer.
Its cold where youre going, i hope that your hearts always warm.
Nights are very long. In the grand scheme of things, obviously. Because in comparison to the day, nights are generally shorter. Medically speaking, the average human being sleeps for at least a third of their life. One whole third. Unless you live with Darren Murphy, who snores. ALOT. So for two sixths of your lifetime, you are (in most cases..) horizontal, eyes shut, deep breathing, dreaming. That sure is one hell of a way to spend your time.
That means for the other two thirds you are awake. You are eyes open.
This scares me.
This thought makes me scared.
Why?
Because that isnt long enough.
Just two thirds doesnt seem like alot.
I want to see the world. I want to wake up on a beach and wonder how i got there. I want to set fire to a pan and burn part of my kitchen. I want to lose my house keys and be locked out until my mum comes down with a spare key. I want to miss my flight and be stuck in the airport on my own. I want to sit on top of a building in the sunshine eating icecream. I want to throw a snowball from the top of a hill and see how far i can get it. I want to forget where i parked my car and have to walk around for ages trying to locate where the flashing light is as i unlock it with the fob. I want to get on a train without knowing where its going. I want to paint my walls different colours that dont match. I want to snorkle on the Great Barrier Reef. I want to have breakfast in a HUGE bed in a very posh city central hotel in New York. I want to camp in spain. I want to be kissed on the very top of the Eiffel Tower. I want to take my mum to a spa for the weekend. I want to have my hair cut by Nikki Clarke. I want to learn how to make pancakes. I want to stay out all night and forget that i have school in the morning. I want to pay alot of money to go away for the week and never once leave my hotel room. I want to build a room that only i am alowed in. I want to swim in an ice cold river. I want to sleep on grass. I want to learn to play one song on the acoustic guitar. I want to design my own wedding dress. I want to cook Christmas dinner for everyone i know. I want to throw a party that will get my house trashed. I want to stand barefoot in Hyde Park and have a picnic there. I want to got o Blackpool for a week. I want to have twins. I want to write my own music. I want to jump off a roof. I want to sleep in my car. I want to see my book on the shelf in Waterstones. I want to visit a poppy field. I want to lie under my white covers all day. I want to spend the whole day in a library. I want to make my Grandma proud of me. I want to get kicked off public transport. I want to name a star. I want to sit up in bed and see the ocean.
Two thirds?
I guess i'd better get started.
Its cold where youre going, i hope that your hearts always warm.
Nights are very long. In the grand scheme of things, obviously. Because in comparison to the day, nights are generally shorter. Medically speaking, the average human being sleeps for at least a third of their life. One whole third. Unless you live with Darren Murphy, who snores. ALOT. So for two sixths of your lifetime, you are (in most cases..) horizontal, eyes shut, deep breathing, dreaming. That sure is one hell of a way to spend your time.
That means for the other two thirds you are awake. You are eyes open.
This scares me.
This thought makes me scared.
Why?
Because that isnt long enough.
Just two thirds doesnt seem like alot.
I want to see the world. I want to wake up on a beach and wonder how i got there. I want to set fire to a pan and burn part of my kitchen. I want to lose my house keys and be locked out until my mum comes down with a spare key. I want to miss my flight and be stuck in the airport on my own. I want to sit on top of a building in the sunshine eating icecream. I want to throw a snowball from the top of a hill and see how far i can get it. I want to forget where i parked my car and have to walk around for ages trying to locate where the flashing light is as i unlock it with the fob. I want to get on a train without knowing where its going. I want to paint my walls different colours that dont match. I want to snorkle on the Great Barrier Reef. I want to have breakfast in a HUGE bed in a very posh city central hotel in New York. I want to camp in spain. I want to be kissed on the very top of the Eiffel Tower. I want to take my mum to a spa for the weekend. I want to have my hair cut by Nikki Clarke. I want to learn how to make pancakes. I want to stay out all night and forget that i have school in the morning. I want to pay alot of money to go away for the week and never once leave my hotel room. I want to build a room that only i am alowed in. I want to swim in an ice cold river. I want to sleep on grass. I want to learn to play one song on the acoustic guitar. I want to design my own wedding dress. I want to cook Christmas dinner for everyone i know. I want to throw a party that will get my house trashed. I want to stand barefoot in Hyde Park and have a picnic there. I want to got o Blackpool for a week. I want to have twins. I want to write my own music. I want to jump off a roof. I want to sleep in my car. I want to see my book on the shelf in Waterstones. I want to visit a poppy field. I want to lie under my white covers all day. I want to spend the whole day in a library. I want to make my Grandma proud of me. I want to get kicked off public transport. I want to name a star. I want to sit up in bed and see the ocean.
Two thirds?
I guess i'd better get started.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Tapping, WA
I knew there was something up with her because she stormed past my door as if she was hiding something.
I knew exactly what was wrong, because we had been in this same situation a thousand times before. I put down my school bag and walked into her room. She was sat in her usual position, so i sat in mine; just next to her mirror. I turned away so i wasn't looking at her, that was the most important part of our routine. If i looked at her she could feel me watching her, so i just gave her a few minutes to herself. From the mirror i could see her easily so i kept glancing over. She didn't notice me because she was far too buried in her own thoughts. Her head was stooped, and i could see her expressions change as she read the multicoloured words on the paper. She smiled cheekily as she progressed through the page, then her face straightened as she turned over to the next side. Then the first tear fell. It was overdue. She had managed to read a side and a half before she actually cried. This was my cue; shuffle ab it further forward. She put the paper down by her side and sighed, she had evidently finished. After a few seconds, she looked up at me with a big smile on her face and tears all down her cheeks. She pushed herself to her knees and crawled towards me. Flinging her arms around my neck i squeezed her hard in a hug that was more comforting than anything i couldve said. After a minute or two, she rocked back to her heels and passed me the letter. I scanned it quickly and nodded. She smiled and i wiped her cheek. Neither of us needed to say anything, there is an unwritten language that you are born with when you are a sister. Its a silent tongue that doesn't need to be shared; like a glance across the dinner table during cringe-worthy conversations or a pinch of the arm after an inappropriate comment. Its a language you cant teach, because there is nothing to be taught. Its just sisterhood.
My Grandad offered me a teapot before.
One out of his loft.
It may be years old, but its still usable.
He assured me he knew exactly where it was.
'Want me to go up and get it?'
No thank you grandad.
You're 60 something and due for a knee replacement.
Its fine, but thank you.
I'll go without.
I knew exactly what was wrong, because we had been in this same situation a thousand times before. I put down my school bag and walked into her room. She was sat in her usual position, so i sat in mine; just next to her mirror. I turned away so i wasn't looking at her, that was the most important part of our routine. If i looked at her she could feel me watching her, so i just gave her a few minutes to herself. From the mirror i could see her easily so i kept glancing over. She didn't notice me because she was far too buried in her own thoughts. Her head was stooped, and i could see her expressions change as she read the multicoloured words on the paper. She smiled cheekily as she progressed through the page, then her face straightened as she turned over to the next side. Then the first tear fell. It was overdue. She had managed to read a side and a half before she actually cried. This was my cue; shuffle ab it further forward. She put the paper down by her side and sighed, she had evidently finished. After a few seconds, she looked up at me with a big smile on her face and tears all down her cheeks. She pushed herself to her knees and crawled towards me. Flinging her arms around my neck i squeezed her hard in a hug that was more comforting than anything i couldve said. After a minute or two, she rocked back to her heels and passed me the letter. I scanned it quickly and nodded. She smiled and i wiped her cheek. Neither of us needed to say anything, there is an unwritten language that you are born with when you are a sister. Its a silent tongue that doesn't need to be shared; like a glance across the dinner table during cringe-worthy conversations or a pinch of the arm after an inappropriate comment. Its a language you cant teach, because there is nothing to be taught. Its just sisterhood.
My Grandad offered me a teapot before.
One out of his loft.
It may be years old, but its still usable.
He assured me he knew exactly where it was.
'Want me to go up and get it?'
No thank you grandad.
You're 60 something and due for a knee replacement.
Its fine, but thank you.
I'll go without.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Eyeliner, sweatbands, studded belts and h&m jackets.
Freedom comes at a price, so join us and be non-conformist.
Individuality is a quality the world lacks. Unlike accent, skin tone or hair colour, to live to be unique you must be born with it inplanted into your DNA.
Surely this means everyone is unique? As no two people are the same and each persons genetic format is different. The moment of conception isnt the problem; the worries start when, as growing humans, we decide to dress and think and talk the same as the next person. It is a natural part of our development to explore different styles and lifestyles, but what happens when we find one we like? What happens if we all settle on one particular way of life? If it is the same one, could you imagine what the world would be like?
Can you imagine the social enviroment now if Martin Luther King Jr hadnt defied steriotype and made his 'I Have A Dream' speech?
Can you imagine the technology we would have now if Bill gates hadnt gone against his peers and produced Microsoft?
Can you imagine the music industry today if Elvis Presley hadnt ignored all the 'bad-influence' press and rebelled against a society so in need of a scandal?
People throughout history, people like Ghandi, Mother Theresa, Winston Churchill and so many others, have changed the world. But it wasnt because they kept their heads down in a crowd of millions. It wasnt because they nodded and smiled when they felt like screaming and shouting. Its because they had a brain and a mouth and, most importantly, a heart that allowed them to step out of the shaddow of the tidal-wave majority and become the one, individual, splash of hope in a world that is so thirsty.
Life isnt about getting by and getting along. Its about failing, but returning to the core of your idea and being so different that everyone around you gasps and shakes their small minded heads. Life is about being remembered for being yourself, not about being forgotten for being someone else.
Individuality is a quality the world lacks. Unlike accent, skin tone or hair colour, to live to be unique you must be born with it inplanted into your DNA.
Surely this means everyone is unique? As no two people are the same and each persons genetic format is different. The moment of conception isnt the problem; the worries start when, as growing humans, we decide to dress and think and talk the same as the next person. It is a natural part of our development to explore different styles and lifestyles, but what happens when we find one we like? What happens if we all settle on one particular way of life? If it is the same one, could you imagine what the world would be like?
Can you imagine the social enviroment now if Martin Luther King Jr hadnt defied steriotype and made his 'I Have A Dream' speech?
Can you imagine the technology we would have now if Bill gates hadnt gone against his peers and produced Microsoft?
Can you imagine the music industry today if Elvis Presley hadnt ignored all the 'bad-influence' press and rebelled against a society so in need of a scandal?
People throughout history, people like Ghandi, Mother Theresa, Winston Churchill and so many others, have changed the world. But it wasnt because they kept their heads down in a crowd of millions. It wasnt because they nodded and smiled when they felt like screaming and shouting. Its because they had a brain and a mouth and, most importantly, a heart that allowed them to step out of the shaddow of the tidal-wave majority and become the one, individual, splash of hope in a world that is so thirsty.
Life isnt about getting by and getting along. Its about failing, but returning to the core of your idea and being so different that everyone around you gasps and shakes their small minded heads. Life is about being remembered for being yourself, not about being forgotten for being someone else.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
wearing very little, but thinking quite alot
I feel really bad.
I feel as if my blog had become my diary. I seemed to write on here alot, too much perhaps. I had to stop myself from writing here too many times a month.
But, even though its only been a few days or maybe a week sinse i last blogged, i feel i have neglected this website. I've kinda been putting this off, but i've kinda been looking forward to it.
I feel like i have so much to say!
Its weird!
Its like im talking to an old friend who i have loads to catch up on!
I dont want to tell you everything. Else i will literally, literally, be here all night. I will make a short list of things that will probably only make sense to me. Its simply for my use only to compensate for my lack of effort.
- Cups of tea and Lost plots with My Girl. So far, yet to be topped this month. I enjoyed myself so much. I love her dearly.
- Hidden notes and a picnic on my bed. Courtesy of the most amazing boy in the world. And i know i can exaggerate, but this time i'm not.
- www.cheese.com and all that went before it.
- Chilling with Clarabell. Truely the only person that i want to hug when shes pissing me off bad style.
- Not speaking to my boy Matthew for what seems like hundreds of centuries..
- My new found interest in deep convos with Beany.
- 300.... this. is. spartaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
- Charity events. And the night that followed after.
That not it.
But thats all you're getting.
I'm going to be more regular (wo, deja vu..)
And not just because i'm eating more prunes...
I feel as if my blog had become my diary. I seemed to write on here alot, too much perhaps. I had to stop myself from writing here too many times a month.
But, even though its only been a few days or maybe a week sinse i last blogged, i feel i have neglected this website. I've kinda been putting this off, but i've kinda been looking forward to it.
I feel like i have so much to say!
Its weird!
Its like im talking to an old friend who i have loads to catch up on!
I dont want to tell you everything. Else i will literally, literally, be here all night. I will make a short list of things that will probably only make sense to me. Its simply for my use only to compensate for my lack of effort.
- Cups of tea and Lost plots with My Girl. So far, yet to be topped this month. I enjoyed myself so much. I love her dearly.
- Hidden notes and a picnic on my bed. Courtesy of the most amazing boy in the world. And i know i can exaggerate, but this time i'm not.
- www.cheese.com and all that went before it.
- Chilling with Clarabell. Truely the only person that i want to hug when shes pissing me off bad style.
- Not speaking to my boy Matthew for what seems like hundreds of centuries..
- My new found interest in deep convos with Beany.
- 300.... this. is. spartaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
- Charity events. And the night that followed after.
That not it.
But thats all you're getting.
I'm going to be more regular (wo, deja vu..)
And not just because i'm eating more prunes...
Monday, February 4, 2008
A Love For Envelopes
Hello.
You look very nice today.
I dont mean to be forward or anything, i thought i would just compliment you before i begin. Only because i know how you feel about compliments. I know you like to give them, but sometimes you feel you dont get them enough.
Come on.
Dont lie.
I know you think that.
You think that you would be happier if a few more nicer sentences were thrown your way now and again... In a totally non-big-headed way, of course.
No but seriously, you look really nice. Your hair is doing that thing i like. When you havent really put much effort in but it looks good.
Your head hurts abit doesnt it? Well, its not really that bad now. But it was abit achey before. Its ok, i know how you feel. I had a bad head before, its cleared up now so i'm sure yours will too.
Seriously, have you done something different with your hair? You actually look like a new person today. Good on you mate, you're looking fiiiine. :)
Ohhh, arnt you going to shut that window? Its abit nippy. You've thought about moving the computer but its too much hastle and youve set yourself up a nice little work space now, so there isnt much point. But it is abit cold, so either shut a door or turn the heating up. I know you're not content with the temperature. I get like that sometimes. I'll be lay in bed and i will just decide to put another layer on or take another layer off. Sometimes, as humans, we just get over-run with the feeling of malcontent and our ever growing need for power makes us change something about our enviroment. I get that. So just sort that radiator out please.
I know you're asking yourself what youre doing here... No, not in the way you dont want to be on my blog, but theres that way more important job youve been meaning to do. Look, im not trying to tell you what to do, but i think you should just get it done and out the way. Think how good you will feel when you are happy with it, it wont be on your mind anymore will it? Just do it bit by bit, thats the best way for a task like that. Then you wont have a big load to do last minute. Just make sure you dont rush it or do it half-heartedly. Thats the worst thing you could do.
Right, i'm going. You should too. You've got much more important things to be getting on with.
Thanks! Thats really nice of you to say so!
Just something i threw together really.
Anyway, see you later.
OH! And dont forget to make that phonecall! We both know it isnt a person you want to let down. So just bare it in mind ok?
Love,
Vicky
xxxxx
You look very nice today.
I dont mean to be forward or anything, i thought i would just compliment you before i begin. Only because i know how you feel about compliments. I know you like to give them, but sometimes you feel you dont get them enough.
Come on.
Dont lie.
I know you think that.
You think that you would be happier if a few more nicer sentences were thrown your way now and again... In a totally non-big-headed way, of course.
No but seriously, you look really nice. Your hair is doing that thing i like. When you havent really put much effort in but it looks good.
Your head hurts abit doesnt it? Well, its not really that bad now. But it was abit achey before. Its ok, i know how you feel. I had a bad head before, its cleared up now so i'm sure yours will too.
Seriously, have you done something different with your hair? You actually look like a new person today. Good on you mate, you're looking fiiiine. :)
Ohhh, arnt you going to shut that window? Its abit nippy. You've thought about moving the computer but its too much hastle and youve set yourself up a nice little work space now, so there isnt much point. But it is abit cold, so either shut a door or turn the heating up. I know you're not content with the temperature. I get like that sometimes. I'll be lay in bed and i will just decide to put another layer on or take another layer off. Sometimes, as humans, we just get over-run with the feeling of malcontent and our ever growing need for power makes us change something about our enviroment. I get that. So just sort that radiator out please.
I know you're asking yourself what youre doing here... No, not in the way you dont want to be on my blog, but theres that way more important job youve been meaning to do. Look, im not trying to tell you what to do, but i think you should just get it done and out the way. Think how good you will feel when you are happy with it, it wont be on your mind anymore will it? Just do it bit by bit, thats the best way for a task like that. Then you wont have a big load to do last minute. Just make sure you dont rush it or do it half-heartedly. Thats the worst thing you could do.
Right, i'm going. You should too. You've got much more important things to be getting on with.
Thanks! Thats really nice of you to say so!
Just something i threw together really.
Anyway, see you later.
OH! And dont forget to make that phonecall! We both know it isnt a person you want to let down. So just bare it in mind ok?
Love,
Vicky
xxxxx
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